Recently, one of my former Texas Lutheran students stopped by. In the conversation, Stephanie told me she had taken a new job as an auditor and had gotten married. Although I knew she had been dating Kyle for quite some time, I didn’t remember a wedding announcement.
Stephanie added that they got married by the justice of the peace with their parents and four friends from college in attendance. Afterwards, they went out to dinner. The whole affair, including a dress, cost less than $1,000.
As I thought about this, my admiration for Stephanie and Kyle rose. Ever the pragmatic individual, Stephanie said it made little sense to have a lavish wedding and reception when she and Kyle were just starting out.
With wedding season in high gear, it might not be a bad idea to borrow a few ideas from Steph and Kyle.
Figure out what really matters. There will be many advice-givers in the wedding planning industry that will tell you what you “need” for your wedding.
Since the financial burden falls upon you and your family, take control of the conversation. Recognize that most “wedding helpers” derive significant benefit from steering you in a certain direction.
Instead, follow Stephanie and Kyle’s lead. Focus on things of substance—like staying out of debt or following a budget.
Money problems are continuously cited as main reasons why marriages fail. Given this, a young couple should not have the added burden of an expensive wedding pressuring a marriage.
According to The Knot.com’s Real Wedding Study of more than 14,000 couples, the average cost of a wedding was nearly $34,000 (excluding the honeymoon) last year.
If you happen to have a loaded family determined to pay for the event, let them. However, if you are like most people, this is a difficult hurdle.
Instead, here are a few ideas to make that special day a bit easier on the pocket book:
Elope. It’s short and sweet.
The average engagement ring costs nearly $6,000. Instead, a gold or silver band accomplishes the same. There is no need for a big diamond costing three months’ salary. A diamond has zero practical use. If you downsize the ring to a band you also won’t need additional insurance for your bling.
Do you really want to drop an average of $1,600 for a dress you’ll wear once? Afterwards, it will get crammed in a closet and collect dust.
If you determine you cannot live without a big wedding, then trade for services. If you can’t find anything to trade, get sponsors. Ask family and friends to chip in to pay for the flowers, the music or catering.
The average cost of a wedding photographer is more than $2,600. If you want lots of pictures, have your guests take shots with disposable cameras. They’ll be a lot cheaper and more humorous.
It amazes me that the average cost of wedding invitations is about $400. There is no need for an envelope stuffed inside of an envelope that is wrapped in tissue paper. Go get some nice stationary and print them at home for less than $100.
Wedding cakes average more than $500 but run anywhere from $1.50 to $12 per slice. For $12 a slice that cake better do some tricks. My guess is the $1.50 slice of cake tastes just as good as the cake frosted in 24-carat gold.
Wedding registry’s need two major modifications. First, don’t ask your friends for anything you wouldn’t buy on your own.
Secondly, all wedding registries need a category entitled “finances.” The registry should offer donations to help the couple save for a new house, retirement, pay off student loans, pay off the car or invest for the future. Better yet, sponsor them to go through a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace program.
Since no wedding registry is going to do that, be a trendsetter and invent that category. This will tell the couple that prudent financial management does matter, and you are willing to help them get their marriage in order.
Doing any of these things can take the burden off the couple-to-be and help them get started on wise financial habits while focusing on things that really matter.